Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
