Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
You did what with his pubic hair?
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