i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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