Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
