no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
