Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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