Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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