last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
