Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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