i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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