Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
