I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
