But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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