You just made me feel so damn special
yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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