We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
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That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
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The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize