Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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