She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
