Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
