So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
