apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
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Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
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