We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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