now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Everything about him screamed your future.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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