I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
being pregnant is like rehab
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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