I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
They have beer where we have blood.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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