Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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