Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
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