I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
