The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
