Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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