We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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