but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
