I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
