well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
