Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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