is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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