i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Randomize
