but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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