No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Randomize
