I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
