The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Randomize
