garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
