we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
