i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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