That's when you crack a 10am beer
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Randomize
