Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
