I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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