I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
