I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
