Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
