i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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