1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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