Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just found puke in my bra..
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
