there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
