Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
