You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
