bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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