guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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