I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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