The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
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I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
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My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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