win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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