Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
you win again, gameday.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Randomize
